PIP'S HOLIDAY TO PORTSMOUTH MOVIE FUN TIME!
As I mentioned before, my good friend Pip is staying here with me. We have been watching many a movie, some of which have had themes which I've tried to categorise thusly.

MOVIE THEME: MOVIE WE'VE BEEN GAGGING TO SEE FOR A YEAR- 105) "The Dark Knight" (Nolan, 2008)
Starring: Christian Bale, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine. (Plot: Batman fights the Joker and Two Face. It rocks)
Squeeeee. I love Christian Bale. I love Maggie Gyllenhaal. I LOVE Gary Oldman as Gordon. Aaron Eckhart was unbelievably good, and Heath Ledger was rather good too. As for Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman, when have they ever been bad? This film was good. Not as good as Batman Begins, but that's asking for a lot. The Joker was terrifying, Two Face was surprisingly creepy in a 12a way. I'm listing, I know, but to be honest I'm expecting everyone on my friend's list to watch it at some stage anyway. Good.

MOVIE THEME: JAPANESE MOVIES- 106) "St. John's Wort" ("Otogiriso") (Shimoyama, 2001) 
Starring: Megumi Okina, Yoichiro Saito. (Plot: Video game developers create a J-Horror Suvival game based in a mansion. Huh. They send a research team to the mansion, only to find life imitating art)
Jonathon Ross recommended this film on his show "Japanorama". Whilst watching this film, I was reminded of why I hate him.* There's a 15 minute sequence of two people wandering around a house, and it's as boring as it sounds, seriously. They walk r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-w-l-y, and it doesn't build suspense, it creates frustration. The ending, to quote MST3k, STINKS. In a way I can sort of understand- when I was younger and wrote stories myself, I hated writing endings as I could never think of a clever way to finish. The same problem struck SJ'sW, apparently. save yourself the trouble of watching this pile of tosh and play "Project Zero" instead.

*Jonathon Ross is a weird one. I hate him sometimes, really like him at others. Watching this film was a bad time for our fan-star relationship.

107) "The Ghost" ("Ryeong") (Kim, 2004)
Starring: Ha-Neul Kim, Sang-mi Nam, Bin. (Plot: Polite university student Ji-Won has amnesia, but finds herself and three bitchy students being haunted)
Oh, I love Wikipedia! They described one event of the film thusly: "When Ji-won comes out, she has a right royal barney with Eun-jung about the séance". No, an argument doesn't erupt; no, there isn't trouble amongst friends; heck, it's not even a disagreement, it's a royal barney! Oh yeah, and the film was good too. If you're into Asian horror it's more of the same, with lots of water imagery, long girly hair, jumpy pale-lady shots, etc. However, the ending was pretty neat, and it was done in a nice enough way that it felt entertaining rather than a repetitious waste of time. Korean horror for the win.

108) "Terrifying Girls' High School: Lynch Law Classroom" ("Kyôfu joshikôkô: bôkô rinchi kyôshitsu") (Suzuki, 1973)
Starring: Reiko Ike, Miki Sugimoto. (Plot: A delinquent girls' school is run by the corrupt Deputy Headmaster and his gang of dominant-in-that-way "Discipline" squad. A group of girls decide that they have to overthrow this oppressive regime after one of the pupils is killed)
Wow, this film was kinky. Obviously I expected some sex and violence from a film included in the 'Pinky Violence' boxset, but I was not expecting to see a hot lightbulb get inserted into a person. I blame my old lecturer Paul Spicer, who decided to show us 58) Delinquent Girl Boss: Worthless to Confess in the Pinky Violence lecture, which was enormously tame in comparison to this. To be honest though, I don't know why I'm whinging, I thought this film was magnificent. It was interesting, sexy, stylised, cool, and had some really ace female characters in it. Plus it was quite funny, which is unusual in a Japanese film. (Well, unusual for me, I only ever really watch horror though). Expect to see me dressed as a member of the discipline squad this coming Hallowe'en!

MOVIE THEME: VAMPIRES VERSUS WEREWOLVES- 109) "30 Days of Night" (Slade, 2007)
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Melissa George. (Plot: Barrow, Alaska is so far North it suffers 30 days without sunlight a year. Vampires take advantage of this situation. Josh Hartnett bumbles around)
Whilst I was watching this movie, I had a long list of bad points about it, but I can't remember any of them right now. In fact, I can't remember anything about this movie, so I think that means it was boring. Ooh, wait, I think I remember thinking the vampires were a bit disappointing, too "zombie" for my taste. Even Pip was a bit underwhelmed, and she sticks up for vampires (normally) indiscriminantly.

110) "An American Werewolf in London" (Landis, 1981)
Starring: David Naughton, Jenny Agutter, Griffin Dunne. (Plot: Holy Crap! Imdb has just told me that Griffin Dunne, AKA the best character in this movie, directed "Addicted to Love"! Who knew! Anyway, the film is about werewolves, and it's flipping A)
When I was in college, I fancied this guy who had lovely eyes, a wicked sense of humour, and an insanely detailed knowledge of films. Then, one day, I overheard him say that he hated this movie and my crush on him disappeared immediately. I guess what I'm trying to say is if you've got a problem with this film, you've got a problem with me. It's THE best werewolf OR vampire film ever made: it's funny, horrorific, sad, terrifying, sexy (to some people, maybe) and all-around genius. Highly recommended.

MOVIE THEME: Either A) FILMS THAT RANDOMLY MENTION THE PERINEUM BY A SLANG NAME, or B) FILMS THAT FEATURE ACTORS/ACTRESSES I WOULD HYPOTHETICALLY 'TAP'- 111) "Baby Mama" (McCullers, 2008) 
Starring: Tina <3 Fey, Amy Poehler, Greg Kinnear, Sigourney Weaver, Steve Martin. (Plot: Tina Fey is desperate to have babies, and for some reason men aren't queueing round the block to help her with that. Losers. Anyway, she turns to surrogacy as adoption takes too long and teams up with Amy Poehler, who carries it for her. Life lessons ensue.) Nickname for the perineum: "Taint"
Tina Fey has officially taken the number one spot for lady I'd go gay for. I completely adored her in this film, she was very amusing and acted beautifully, and the interaction between her and Poehler was a joy to watch. Me and Pip laughed numerous times, and felt very happy for a long period of time following. A rom-com I would absolutely recommend to all, espeically those wanting a very gentle comedy that is clever and appreciative of women in a way a lot of rom-coms are not. Did I mention I love Tina Fey?

112) "Velvet Goldmine" (Haynes, 1988)
Starring: Christian <3 Bale, Ewan McGregor, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Toni Collette, Eddie Izzard. (Plot: Toni Collette and Eddie Izzard both have a pair of double letters in their name, that's odd. The beautiful Christian Bale is asked to do a journalistic report on glam rock star Brian Slade) Nickname for the perineum: "No Man's Land"
Very enjoyable, especially if you like looking at Christian Bale and/or Ewan McGregor. Presented almost as a biopic of the fictional Brian Slade, it follows his life as a glam rock star. It's well acted, moves along very nicely and has strange fantasy moments every now and again.

113) "Wall*e" (Stanton, 2008)
Starring: Ben Burtt, Elissa Knight, Jeff Garlin, Fred Willard, Sigourney Weaver, John Ratzenberger, Kathy Najimy. (Plot: Cute little alien thing from the future tries to clean up the planet, but learns romance from watching "Hello Dolly!", then falls in love with sleeker looking robot Eve)
THIS MOVIE IS SO CUTE. I am completely in love with this movie, I felt giddily happy from the second it started to the second it finished. I also cried a little at the end. Visually, it's breathtaking. Story-wise, it's simple and effective. Some people don't like this movie, but I can't comment as I was a little underwhelmed by Finding Nemo, which is apparently everyone's favourite Pixar. I would really recommend watching this movie on the biggest screen you can, folks

114) "Kinky Boots" (Jarrold, 2005)
Starring: Joel Edgerton, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Sarah-Jane Potts, Nick Frost. (Plot: Failing shoe company turns to making sex-boots for men)
One of those charming British films that are easy to watch and enjoy, and fortunately this one doesn't have anything too depressing in it (as some do).